4^th Installment
by Deb Staples, Publisher

1)      AND I QUOTE…

When someone is speaking, always use double quotation marks.  I’m not sure why some people have started using single quotation marks for dialogue, but the only place that is acceptable is when someone is speaking and actually quoting what someone else has said – dialogue within dialogue.

(Example:  “Mom, listen to what my teacher writes: ‘Max has been doing superb this year in Math class.’”)

2)      RUN-ON SENTENCES

This is a habit that many of us fall into, unfortunately.  It is very easy to make your sentences very long – with tons of commas, parentheses, or dashes – in order to get all the information that’s in your head down on paper for your reader.  But try to be selective as to what information you give away at one time … or rather, in the same sentence.

My personal rule of thumb is if you have to use more than one set of parentheses, or more than 3 commas, or more than one “and” or “then,” you may want to rethink your sentence structure.  Keep in mind the REPEAT rule in Installment three; always try to use variety in your sentence structure. 

(Example of a run-on sentence*:  It dropped sharply to within a couple of feet of the grass, and like a stunt pilot thrilling his audience, pulled out of the nose dive the last second, leveled off, and headed for the street, barely missing a large, white SUV with very dark windows that was parked at the curb near our mailbox. 

Technically, there is nothing wrong with this sentence.  But it might sound better if it was written this way:
It dropped sharply to within a couple of feet of the grass. Like a stunt pilot thrilling his audience, it pulled out of the nose dive the last second, leveled off, and headed for the street, barely missing a large, white SUV that was parked at the curb near our mailbox. 

3)      I DECLARE!  When does one use EXCLAMATION POINTS?

I have been asked to give my opinion of the use of exclamation points.  As you know, exclamation points are used to show that someone is yelling or overly excited.  But they can definitely be overused.  My basic rule of thumb regarding the use of exclamation points is to use them sparingly.  Obviously, if someone is telling another person to “Look out!” when someone is going to attack them or they are about to hit a car, etc., that is a good time to use one.  But if someone is angry, you don’t necessarily have to use an exclamation point after every sentence he/she speaks.  And you definitely do NOT need to use more than one exclamation point.

You can also use the qualifiers after the sentence to say how upset someone is as an alternate to using an exclamation point

. 

(Example of over-use:  “Joe! Joe!  Get out of the way!  I have to get to the door!  Move it!”

Try this instead:  “Joe, get out of the way,” Brian panted, “I have to get to the door. Move it!”

NOTE:  With emails, text messages and instant messages so prevalent today, the exclamation point is more and more often overly used; and those who communicate online so often (like myself) actually “hear” someone yelling whenever exclamation points (or all caps) are used.  Just something to think about when you decide to use that exclamation point.

4)      STYLE vs FORM – WHEN IS GRAMMAR IMPORTANT?

This is another item that I was requested to cover. 

I have often been made fun of by my children if they catch me speaking grammatically incorrect.  And they’ve also asked me why I don’t always correct them when they do the same (though admittedly, I do joke about their incorrect grammar at times).  And I have always told them that it’s not as important to me that someone SPEAK grammatically correct – unless they are in a situation that warrants it (such as speaking to a perspective employer), because people don’t speak grammatically correct for the most part.

That said, I tend to agree completely with Margaret Shertzer’s quote in her book, The Elements of Grammar, when she says, “While informal speech commonly uses colloquial expressions, few people wish to appear illiterate in their speaking or writing.”  Basically, what this means is, unless the narrator of your story is an illiterate, for whatever reason (the time period or place he or she is born in, for instance), you as the writer have a duty to write your story using correct grammar, even if the characters in your story don’t speak that way.  So even if your dialogue is full of incorrect grammar, you should make sure that the rest of the story is written with correct grammar. 

5)      MORE on HE SAID/SHE SAID

One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone repeatedly uses the same sentence structure… especially the whole “he said/she said” deal. If you are writing a lot of dialogue, I realize it is tempting to make sure your reader knows exactly who is speaking, as well as HOW they are speaking.  And if you’ve read my previous installments, you may have systemically started replacing the “she yells” and “he proclaims” and changing those to the simpler “he said/she said.”  And that’s to be commended… to a point.  Because constantly using “he said/she said” after every single sentence – especially in the same place in a sentence – can be just as distracting… even annoying.

(Example:  “Hi,” he said.

                   “Hiya,” she said.

                   “What are you up to?” he said.

                   “Not much.  How about you?” she said.

              Here is how you can spice up just that small piece of dialogue:

                     “Hi,” Brian said to Amy.

                      Amy smiled.  “Hiya.”

                     “What are you up to?”

                     “Not much,” she gestured for him to sit.  “How about you?”

As you can see, the sentence structure has been varied just a bit – I was even able to add a bit of action to the scene, which is always preferable -  and the “he said/she said” has been reduced enough so as to be barely noticeable within the dialogue itself.

NOTE:  This cannot be stated enough:  If you have only 2 people speaking, there is no need to use each person’s name repeatedly.

NEXT INSTALLMENT:

Passive voice

A bit more on commas